That’s the title of Brian Griffin’s fictional book that Bill Maher called pile of heaping mess or something related to dog poop.

I agree.  Today I received a letter from one of my many subscriptions to bliss chasers. It was a personal letter, actually, from a kind woman who thought, since I don’t have cash, that I’d appreciate Abraham’s free site.

You don’t know Abraham?  Well, good for you.  Abraham is one of my greater downfalls into the abyss of guilt and misery.

Abraham is a channeled spirit, or group of spirits, ascribed to some yahoos from the south.  Maybe even Texas of all places.  In this wisdom from spirits of another plane, one is responsible for their entire fate.  Holy Crap!

I must’ve spent two years trying to vibe in goodness.  I probably got some, but I also got in a car accident that totally screwed me financially, a ticket, some legal trouble I’d rather not discuss, a mountain of debt that would bring most men to suicide, and a few other misfortunes that I’d prefer not drift away to remember right now.  OK?

So, after a few major downturns, I decided to give up on Abraham.  If you don’t know who that is, still, go check out “What the Bleep?”  It’s a movie that inspires us to align with our dreams.  Screw that.  

As I just learned on “Family Guy,” yeah, “Family Guy,” people who come from lower socioeconomic status with limited resources really shouldn’t waste their time because the aspiration is a lie.  The idea you can achieve anything you want is a hoax.  

Really, I believe in a mix of both “Family Guy” and “What the Bleep?”  When I was a teen, I read some book who’s title and author completely escapes me.  What I remember about the book is that before accomplishing anything, one was to state, nay, demand to God that one would achieve said goal.  

For me, it worked.  I would say things like, “I know everything there is to know about chemistry and I will receive an A on tomorrow’s test by God’s will” over and over.  I think I got the book from my dad, which actually worked much better than the chemistry tutor he hired for me two or three times.  

I’m not so sure it worked in chemistry, but I know it worked sometimes.  Funny enough, in elementary school I used to play out conversations in my head with the acquaintances I had in school.  Unfortunately, they most often didn’t turn out how I envisioned, so you’d think I’d have learned not to project.  But that’s what all the magazines say work for celebrities and sports figures.

Bottom line.  It’s fine to project and expect, but don’t wrap yourself so entirely into the game, because, honestly, sometimes you lose and it’s really NOT your fault.  That should make you pretty happy. 

I heard something the other day about hope versus optimism.  I believe it was by a writer who appeared on Steven Colbert.  Yeah, him again.  I’ll have to figure it out and get back to you.  I do know that Steven said the difference between hope and optimism is that “optimism is based on evidence” and “hope is based in feeling.”  I think that’s right.  I’ll deal with Jon Stewart’s legal team if I got that wrong.  And I’ll envision winning.

Wish me luck.