I woke up and dreamed about winning the lottery while trying to put my actual dreams in order.  I imagined myself in this two million dollar home I saw online.  I finally kicked myself out of bed to feed the dogs and whilst waiting outside for them, I “tapped” a little positive energy into me.  Then I did something rash. 

Not having any money and a little over-extended in credit trying to live my music dream, I bought into another happiness trap using PayPal’s “Bill Me Later” option.  For over a decade, I guess, I’ve wanted to buy the Silva Mind System.  I, for a while, committed to their free meditation and found it valuable.  When I moved in, again, with my now husband I lost space and time and that commitment. 

Well, I didn’t buy that. 

I did buy a new program on mindfulness that was created with them.  You’ll have to look it up if you want the pitch, but this morning I started my lessons and I remained happy until early evening.  I tried to practice the compassion encouraged while watching a guy stand with the freezer door open for several minutes at the grocery store.  I caught myself staring at him with disgust and shaking my head.  Yeah, I’m that girl.

Then he opened a second door for several minutes and I forgot I was supposed to allow him his stupid world view.  Then he opened a third and although I knew his wife saw me disapproving, I thought about how we use only we waste 70% of energy through inefficiency while Japan, recently and tragically hit by the massive tsunami, is conversely 90% efficient and I’m watching this dill hole read every item in the grocery freezer with the door open.  Ugh. 

Ah, well, I’ll try again tomorrow!